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NaPoWriMo Haiku

I should have seven
But I can't find time to write
Giving birth is hard

I won't let go

Even though we are drifting,
even though I fantasize of
how I would decorate
my own apartment,
I will not let go,
even though
the letting go seems easy.

Despite the fact
that your chewing annoys me,
and also your breathing,
and the very sight of you,
I will not let go,
even though
the letting go would be faster.

It has been some time
since my heart skipped a beat,
since I felt a tingle
in the places that tingle, but
I will not let go,
even though
the letting go may be smarter.

I remember what we said
about facing these hard times
well before we even knew
how hard these times could get.
We vowed to stand together,
to keep trying,
to not let go.
Ever.

And so, as a promise made
to a twenty something,
two decades ago,
I will not let go.
I will not let go.
Even though
the letting go may have already happened.

A Start

Sometimes I feel like I am stuck
in a room without a door.
Windows thick, let the light in.
distorted images of freedom from the other side,
but there is no chance of breaking out.
The air is thick, almost like water,
I struggle to remember the time
I knew how to breathe liquid.

What They See

The dogs don't care

whether I am thin or fat, 

whether I can tell a good joke,

make a good souffle,

or if I am well-liked at work.

They are not troubled

by the sound of my snoring

or crying;

they just want to be as close to me as possible.

If you told them

that sometimes I say the wrong thing at parties, 

that I am sarcastic

and that I can be a bit self-righteous,

they will just cock their heads

and look at you blankly.

If they could, they would tell you

that I always move the couch

so they can retrieve their tennis balls,

I pretend to accidentally drop food,

stroke their ears just right,

and that I unconsciously pet them in my sleep

in a way they find eternally endearing.

Alone, Together

We sit, side by side,

looking together

feeling alone.

Where did we lose 

the togetherness of us?

The loneliest times in my day

are spent with you

wishing for one small glimmer

of the we we used to be.