I won't let go

Even though we are drifting,
even though I fantasize of
how I would decorate
my own apartment,
I will not let go,
even though
the letting go seems easy.

Despite the fact
that your chewing annoys me,
and also your breathing,
and the very sight of you,
I will not let go,
even though
the letting go would be faster.

It has been some time
since my heart skipped a beat,
since I felt a tingle
in the places that tingle, but
I will not let go,
even though
the letting go may be smarter.

I remember what we said
about facing these hard times
well before we even knew
how hard these times could get.
We vowed to stand together,
to keep trying,
to not let go.
Ever.

And so, as a promise made
to a twenty something,
two decades ago,
I will not let go.
I will not let go.
Even though
the letting go may have already happened.